Films Watched in 2014: 21/xxx
This Is the End (2013) - Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg (1.5/5)
A very promising premise, but it ultimately drops the ball due to a poorly written script/too much ad-libbing and a budget too low for adequate special effects (Sony shorted them $13 million in exchange for full creative control, so the movie made “only” $101 million domestic/$126 million worldwide from its budget of $32 million).
- Abraham Lincoln never fought vampires or zombies
- Adolph Hitler was not machine gunned to death in a movie theater in Paris
- Marty McFly did not invent Rock and Roll
- Richard Nixon never dispatched Dr. Manhattan to end the Vietnam War
You never complained about these changes to history, so shut the fuck up about a black man playing a fictional spy, you idiotic, racist pricks.
We can expand this to Batman/Human Torch/whoever else as needed.
I don’t know if some of you have been to these live reads at LACMA, where a classic film is read live on stage by actors who just sit and read the script. We did one recently of American Pie, but we reversed the gender roles. All the women played men; all the men played women. And it was so fascinating to be a part of this because, as the women took on these central roles — they had all the good lines, they had all the good laughs, all the great moments — the men who joined us to sit on stage started squirming rather uncomfortably and got really bored because they weren’t used to being the supporting cast.
It was fascinating to feel their discomfort [and] to discuss it with them afterward, when they said, “It’s boring to play the girl role!” And I said, “Yeah. Yeah. You think? Welcome to our world!
There needs to be a live action version of this starring Neil Patrick Harris and Robert Downey Jr.
OH MY GOD
These two are supposed to be SPANIARDS. If we’re making this live-action, let’s not whitewash it like we did the first time around.
Films Watched in 2014: 20/xxx
Escape From Tomorrow (2013) - Randy Moore (1.75/5)
Secretly filming a movie inside the Disney theme parks (and Disney then allowing that movie to be released) is no mean feat…but this needed a lot more than that to be truly great. Either the script needed to be punched up (lots of stilted dialogue and characters who serve no real purpose), better actors should have been used to improve the performances, or both. There’s also some very obvious green screen and cheap sets used, but you can’t expect much for only $650,000. This was a great idea in theory, and couldn’t have been made 10 years ago, but maybe it should have stayed theoretical for a bit longer.
#social experiments: take two hamlets; put ‘em in a room together; keep ‘em punchy; turn on microphone. #result: a movie apparently
Quite possibly the most entertaining example of whitewashing ever.